Speedy boss gets a little bit wacko this time of year - AVweb

AVweb Editor Arrested

AVWEB STAFF

AVweb editor-at-large Paul Bertorelli was placed under arrest yesterday afternoon following a high-speed chase near El Paso, Texas. The long-time AVweb staff member was believed to be heading for Mexico when he was taken into custody following a warrant filed by the FBI stemming from a complaint issued by the Federal Aviation Administration. “We’re trying to get to the bottom of it now,” said AVwebSenior Editor Kate O’Connor. The company has declined to make bail, O’Connor said, but the staff is starting a Go-Fund-Me. “Not a good time to go off the rails, frankly, with Sun ‘n Fun right around the corner,” said O’Connor. “He’s always looking for an excuse to avoid Lakeland, but this time he might have gone too far.” O’Connor said Bertorelli has been a flight risk since last year when he made a false claim that the FAA is pushing back the ADS-B deadline. “I mean, Paul said he was sorry,” said O’Connor. “And the assault charge after that little dust-up at the Tampa FSDO was dropped. I am guessing the Feds want to keep him incarcerated at least through April 1.” O’Connor said when Bertorelli got wind of which book they were going to throw at him, he got away in his Piper Cub. Prior to his apprehension near the Mexican border, Bertorelli called O’Connor from somewhere near the Alabama-Florida line: “He said he had a headwind and was flying backward so he was going to land and try to steal a motorcycle,” O’Connor said. That’s when the multi-talented Marc Cook, ex-Kitplanesand ex-Motorcyclist editor, stepped up. In order to curry favor with the notoriously churlish Bertorelli, he supplied AVweb’s editor-at-large with a Kawasaki crotch rocket. “I just hope he doesn’t hurt himself,” Cook was later quoted. “There’s an unconfirmed report Russ Niles somehow got his hands on some C-4 explosive and had blasted a hole in the southern border for Bertorelli’s escape,” O’Connor said. “But that let in some remnants from ‘the Caravan’ and now ICE is after him. They had his mug shot on Hannity.” Niles has been charged as an accessory and is currently in hiding. He later commented: “We’re pretty sure Paul’s plan was to go to earth somewhere in Chihuahua. Makes sense because he’s been going to the dogs for a while.” O’Connor continued: “Tell you the truth, none of this surprises me. He always gets a little wacko this time of year.” She added a hopeful note: “Key will be to keep the straight jacket on so he can’t use a keyboard. Management has issued anti-anxiety pills to the staff, and there’s a loaded dart gun in the newsroom in case we need to tranquilize him. We’ll keep you posted.”